Hey everybody, what a night inside the Kodak Theater as the stage was the best I've ever witnessed in all its glory.
Hugh Jackman and his sprayed on hair commanded the show with the old feel of Oscar past when guys like Newman and Heston held down the stage with acting essence. Slum dog-Millionaire was the big winner, although I have not seen it, I agree. Sean Penn's acceptance speech blew. I'm aware "blew" is not the preferred critique of an honor so dubious, but it. I like that Kate Winslet, there's truly something about her... its that she's a MILF. Jerry Lewis looked unbelievable. I wonder if that was a look a like. Like that guy you couldn't tell if he was the Pope or not years back. I saw Judd Apatow had good seats. He was right behind Penn in a long shot, right before Penn went up there and blew. How bad did Sofia Loren look, she was beat up. At first I was like "what's Rihanna doing up there". When she came on stage, they panned the crowd and the singer Seal looked away. You know your ugly when Seal won't look at you. Then there's Heath Ledger. There are few people that have lives and accomplishments to bring the word Posthumously back in to the mix. Posthumously is a great word. I wouldn't mind doing something posthumously. Posthumously OUT !
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Monday, May 26, 2008
Women For all season's
For anyone that knows me, I have a difficult time finding someone that can keep me a one woman man. Over the years I've had a few of girls I would consider serious girlfriends. When I say serious I mean " Oh no! This is getting too serious. I need to brake this off before I get hurt....Physically". I often wander in and out of meaningless relationships. Not to say anything bad about the girls they're all great. I'm just deficient in building anything more than her name and knowing when she works and when she has off. Now as a full fledge comedian seeking fortune and fame this behavior can only worsen. Instead of knowing her name and schedule now I'd just rather know her schedule.
I was dating a girl once who was allergic to cats and dogs but she was an animal lover. She had a cockatoo and hamster who liked to start talking and exercising together at 3AM. One time we were having sex and the more the bed shook the faster the hamster ran on the wheel. The louder the girl and I got the louder the bird got repeating the sensual exchanges in the bedroom. Finally I said " this is it! Its too weird I'm outta here!" Although before I left I did take the bird. I thought about taking the hamster but that's a little too kinky for me. I have found out women come and go. Well I haven't met to many that come but I've sure made plenty go.
Now there are just so many women I meet in all circumstances. What's funny is last summer I started hooking up with a girl named Summer. We hung out for a while and then I broke it off in the fall when I met Autumn. She was kind of an earthy chick. She was a vegan. Nothing against vegans as long as they keep their trap shut about me eating meat. I don't care if you eat poison ivy root as long as you know I would prefer a surf and turf if I have my choice and just be fine with it. So Thanksgiving pretty much ended our relationship. Not because of turkey or anything like that, it was because I slept with her mom on Halloween. There will still pics of it on the digital camera we used at the dining room table. I tried to tell Autumn that I went as a MF'er that year. She's not a fan of costumes I guess. Wish I could have turned the clocks back again on that one. So that was that. The timing was great though because I hate having a girlfriend during the winter season because between Christmas and Valentine's day your ass goes broke getting her "not exactly"what she wanted. "F" that! During that stretch I would keep with the holiday spirit by going to visit Snowflake at the strip club. Entertainment wise, one dollar bills go a long way with the way these gas prices are now. As spring came I met a girl named April. She was a lamb that one, but she cried constantly and loved getting flowers. So as a cheap date I used to take her to funerals. That lasted two months. Now a year later as it comes full circle, you know what I realized? I realized I want to get back with Summer. Cuz her ass looks fine in a bikini.
Have a good Summer everybody - Jason
I was dating a girl once who was allergic to cats and dogs but she was an animal lover. She had a cockatoo and hamster who liked to start talking and exercising together at 3AM. One time we were having sex and the more the bed shook the faster the hamster ran on the wheel. The louder the girl and I got the louder the bird got repeating the sensual exchanges in the bedroom. Finally I said " this is it! Its too weird I'm outta here!" Although before I left I did take the bird. I thought about taking the hamster but that's a little too kinky for me. I have found out women come and go. Well I haven't met to many that come but I've sure made plenty go.
Now there are just so many women I meet in all circumstances. What's funny is last summer I started hooking up with a girl named Summer. We hung out for a while and then I broke it off in the fall when I met Autumn. She was kind of an earthy chick. She was a vegan. Nothing against vegans as long as they keep their trap shut about me eating meat. I don't care if you eat poison ivy root as long as you know I would prefer a surf and turf if I have my choice and just be fine with it. So Thanksgiving pretty much ended our relationship. Not because of turkey or anything like that, it was because I slept with her mom on Halloween. There will still pics of it on the digital camera we used at the dining room table. I tried to tell Autumn that I went as a MF'er that year. She's not a fan of costumes I guess. Wish I could have turned the clocks back again on that one. So that was that. The timing was great though because I hate having a girlfriend during the winter season because between Christmas and Valentine's day your ass goes broke getting her "not exactly"what she wanted. "F" that! During that stretch I would keep with the holiday spirit by going to visit Snowflake at the strip club. Entertainment wise, one dollar bills go a long way with the way these gas prices are now. As spring came I met a girl named April. She was a lamb that one, but she cried constantly and loved getting flowers. So as a cheap date I used to take her to funerals. That lasted two months. Now a year later as it comes full circle, you know what I realized? I realized I want to get back with Summer. Cuz her ass looks fine in a bikini.
Have a good Summer everybody - Jason
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
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